I want to love her with all my heart and all the confidence in the world.
I want to be that man she can rely on.
I want to be the person her friends can confidently say he’s a great partner.
I want to be the person she can count on to add to her happiness, make her laugh and love her fully.
But I have all this trauma, I have all this backstory that’s hard to explain
The reason I don’t argue? I’ve heard too many before in my life
The reason I’ve never asked a girl out? Deep inside, I still have the self-esteem that I’m unlovable and not worthy. If I’m being real, deep inside, I still think I’m ugly and not that attractive.
What’s crazy is she doesn’t see that.
She sees a lovable man,
She sees confidence,
She sees care,
She sees a guy who can make her laugh her ass off.
What she doesn’t realize is
She’s the reason for all those things.
She made me lovable,
She made me confident,
She made me care about her and us like I’ve never cared about anything in my life
I wonder, what would she think if she heard all these thoughts
If she knew what I knew.
If she knew what I had been through
Should I tell her? Should she know?
Should she be forewarned like signing a waiver of liability?
I know this man I’m dating has dealt with mental health issues, has dealt with trauma, is not as confident as he seems
But despite that, I agree to try out a relationship with him.
Or am I a changed man? Are those traumas just a part of my past?
Will I become the perfect man I dream of?
Does she not need to worry about them?
Or will they show in some way, some fashion eventually?
Will something happen and she won’t recognize who I am?
What should I do?