I was catching up with a friend the other day.
She’s doing great overall but in her dating life, she’s still hung up on a breakup from over 2 years ago. There’s still feelings of resentment and anger she has for her ex.
I understand that losing love and breaking up is hard. I get it. And I get there will be anger for feeling like you’ve were wronged.
But there’s also, a time after which, you need to move forward.
Everybody’s timing is different and I don’t think you need to rush the moving on part, but after a certain number of years and after a certain amount of signs when it’s clear there’s no ability for reconciliation between the two parties, you need to let go of the majority of those feelings.
It’s not to say you forgive them for what they did to you, but it’s to say that they will no longer negatively affect your life.
Letting the past affect continually affect you in a negative manner is not good for your mental health and is also not good in terms of being in a healthy place for when trying to find a new partner (i.e. better to enter a relationship in a positive place rather than harboring feelings of anger for your ex).