How to stop comparing yourself to others?

Arnav Roy
3 min readApr 9, 2023
  1. Much like anything in life, you’ll have to work at it

I think we naturally compare as human beings, especially with the tribe of friends and family we surround ourselves with.

So, I think, one thing you can try and do is — actively when you see yourself comparing yourself with others, stop it.

And if you can continue to practice that, weeks and months on end, I think in a year, you’ll be a lot better with not comparing yourself to others.

2. Keep perspective on your blessings

I think the best antidote to comparison is incorporating more gratitude and gratefulness.

For example, if you live in the US. or any other country with a democratic government, understand that’s a blessing.

You don’t live under a dictatorship or communism where there’s censorship.

If you have your parents, that’s a blessing. If you’re healthy, that’s a blessing. If you have access to clean water, that’s a blessing.

I can go on forever. I think when we get into comparison traps, I think we forget all the good that has happened in our life.

3. Understand comparison will never make you happy

I think the person who asked this question understands this, but here’s a practical activity, I think will really prove the point that comparison is the thief of joy.

Take some period of a time off from social media.

Last year, I took 2 weeks off from social media.

I started getting a happiness and joy I hadn’t felt in a long time because I wasn’t constantly being fed other people’s lives and what they were doing.

Before social media, you went through your day and you diagnosed how your day went when you got home. Today, you’re fed all these people’s lives on social media and it can overload your brain as you try to diagnose your life in comparison to all that people’s lives you’re seeing on social media.

When I took a break from social, I could focus on me and be a good friend to my friends, and a good family member to my family, you know?

Though I’ve returned to social media, I really limit the amount of time I’m on it.

4. Balance the comparison with people that have it worst than you

I always love when people ask me this question, because the comparison’s they do are never to people doing worse than them.

How many times have you compared yourself to someone without access to clean water? There’s a billion people who fall into that category.

Have you ever said, I have a better life than a billion people because of that fact alone?

5. Compare yourself to yourself

Compare where you are today to where you were last year.

Do this comparison annually. This is the right comparison to make.

Things will go up and down in different parts of your life.

Your work life might go up, but your relationship life might go down because you went through a break up.

But overall, as you compare year of year, as long as things are progressing in a positive direction, that you’re in a better place today than you were in last year, that’s all you can ask for.

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Arnav Roy

Mental health advocate, host of Grateful Living Podcast. Life Coach. YouTube Channel: Grateful Living. Instagram @aroy81547.