How to get over the fear of starting

The other day, a friend of mine said that she wanted to start a vlog. She loves to travel and was like I’d love to make travel vlogs.

I then asked her, why haven’t you started?

I don’t know, mostly fear.

In this vlog, I give several strategies on how to get over fear.

If you’re dealing with fear of judgment, here’s what I would think about:

  1. Realize life is actually short

We all know we’re mortal human beings.

But have you thought about the fact that — you’re gonna be dead in 80 years?

If you’re 20+ years of age and reading this, you’re most likely not going to be alive in 80 years.

That’s how short life is.

Why not make the most of being alive while you are alive?

Why are we waiting for some later time?

2. Realize life can change in a second

I know this sounds terrible and like I’m trying to scare people, but the future is unknown.

The reality is, while most of us hope we make it to a 100, life can change in a second.

Today, I could get into a car crash that kills me. I hope it doesn’t happen, but it could.

I think the important thing in life is to be regret free. If I were to die today, guess what, I would have no regrets?

I am living the life I want to and chasing my dreams.

Can you say that about yourself?

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Reflection: I think these 2 pieces of advice are really good for people who are afraid of judgment.

Who cares what anyone thinks of you? We’ll all be dead in 80 years. Is it really gonna matter what their judgment of you was?

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If you’re dealing with fear of failure, here’s what I would think about:

1. What’s the worst case scenario?

You do a vlog for 2 years and decide to stop because you never made it big.

Okay, so what?

Some people think you’re a failure. Why do you care? Everybody has failures.

Michael Jordan failed 7 years in a row before winning his first NBA championship and now he’s considered the greatest basketball player by many people.

Name me 1 successful person who didn’t fail in life.

I’ll wait. You won’t find one. Everyone fails. No one has a perfect record.

Also, are the people that think you’re a failure actually people you should be caring about? Did they really care about you if they consider you a failure?

A true friend would be a lot more supportive — that’s amazing you chased your dream because now you won’t have any regrets about not trying.

A real friend would encourage you to try and “fail”, rather than not try out of fear and never know.

2. Realize even if you do “fail”, you’ll learn a lot.

I can insert name of some famous individual who tried something first and it wasn’t a great success, but then they tried again some other time, and they did succeed.

Whether that person was an artist, entrepreneur, athlete, politician, realize there are learning lessons in failure.

If you start a business and it fails, you’ll learn a lot about the entrepreneurial journey — marketing, understanding the consumer, managing people, strategy, etc.

Those lessons could be helpful should another business idea come to you later on. Through those lessons from that “failure”, you’ll be able to manage your second venture a lot better.

I tell people all the time. Shout out to my friend Aakash Garg for this perspective.

I can’t fail with respect to my Grateful Living platform. Even if I stop tomorrow, I’ve interacted and met with 107 people that I otherwise wouldn’t have been connected to.

I’ve impacted people to the tune of over 50,000 plays on YouTube, Spotify and Apple, and over 200+k plays on Instagram Videos/Reels.

One of my goals in life is to help people with their journey. I’m doing that in the best way I can — I’m spreading life advice content, I’m trying to increase mental health awareness, I’m trying to spread positivity, etc.

Obviously, would I love to be a big time, full-time podcaster? Of course. But no matter what, even if I stop tomorrow, I know I’m living with in my purpose, I’m trying to impact people positively and I’ve made new friends that I never would’ve had without the podcast.

3. Have you considered successful outcomes?

When we talking about starting something, people always go to the negative outcomes.

What about the possibilities of positive outcomes? Why don’t you ever think of those?

Also, what is success to you?

You know for my friend, I asked her, do you have to be the biggest travel vlogger to be happy with your success?

Or would it be cool, like even if you were not that big, let’s say 10,000 followers, but got 3 free trips to different places because the hotels wanted to be included in your vlogs, how amazing would that be?

And she said to me, I’d love that. That would be perfect. I don’t need to be the biggest travel vlogger.

So, I think, just define what success is to you as well.

Also, going back to my #2 point, they’re may be opportunities you can’t even think of when you first started.

Look at me and Grateful Living Podcast — I myself am not a successful individual — like a successful athlete, politician, entrepreneur, athlete. I’m a nobody.

Yet, 2 years later, I’ve interviewed and developed relationships with over 107 people from different walks of life — former NFL Quarterback Brady Quinn, CEO of Hint Water — Kara Goldin, former NBA player Craig Smith, Kelli Maple — a YouTuber with 1.8 million subscribers, Stephen Spinelli — President of Babson College, Craig Mullaney — Partner at Brunswick Group and a former Afghanistan Combat Veteran, Jamaican singer Blvk H3ro, the President of Holy Cross — Vincent Rougeau, HBS Professor Frances Frei, Justin Dunn — an MLB player, Aparna Shewakramani — Star of Netflix series “Indian Matchmaking, Chris Yeh — co-author of Blitzscaling, Steve Pemberton — Chief Human Resources Officer at Workhuman, Jeff and Kristin Durand — 2 parents who lost their daughter to suicide, Adam Burak — an alcholic who became sober, Dani — a person who attempted suicide, Anna Sweeney — a person who lost her mom on 9/11 and many more.

Again, I didn’t start Grateful Living to meet famous people. I started Grateful Living to increase mental health awareness in memory of a friend of mine who died by suicide. I’m not writing this list as a brag. I’m writing this list for those that need inspiration. Look at the people I’ve been able to get on within 2 years of starting from building a platform up on authenticity.

You never know what can happen. The opportunity of meeting all the guests I have is priceless. You never know how those guests can impact my life.

Don’t lose out on the opportunity of starting. If you told me, I’d interact with all these people and in some cases form a friendship with them, I’d be like your crazy.

If you’re dealing with fear of scariness of putting yourself out there, here’s what I would think about:

  1. Realize that it’s just an insecurity and you’ll develop a better relationship with it over time.

It is scary to put yourself out there. It is scary to deal with the judgment of others.

I am not a great public speaker. Even now, I still think I’m just okay.

But your relationship with scariness of what you’re doing, gets better with time as you practice and you naturally improve.

Look at my first interview with Grateful Living and my last interview. It’s night and day in terms of my command, my speaking ability, the number of times I say “you know” and “um”, etc.

Me believe I’m not a great public speaker is just an insecurity. As I’ve practiced and put myself on video, I have gotten better objectively.

The same will happen for you and whatever you feel like is a weakness for you.

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Host of Grateful Living Podcast. Life Coach. Instagram @aroy81547

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Arnav Roy

Arnav Roy

Host of Grateful Living Podcast. Life Coach. Instagram @aroy81547

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