There’s a lot that we don’t control in life. Like what socioeconomic background we grow up in and things like that, and there are obviously factors in the world that give people advantage over others. But that will always happen in life. We don’t control that.
What we control is our actions, our choices and our attitude everyday, and what do those controllables say about you?
In my opinion, through your actions, the environment you create, who you surround yourself with, you accept what you’re getting in a lot of cases.
I’ll give a situation to set this up.
So the other day, a female friend of mine got upset that she feels like guys never want to commit, they only want to get into situationships or hookups.
yes, that is true about a good majority of the male population in their 20s.
But I asked her what actions are you taking?
If you don’t want to be in friends with benefits relationships or situationships, when a guy is proposing that as the situation, why are you allowing yourself to be in that? Why aren’t you challenging him?
It takes two party to make a fwb situation or a situationship.
If a guy texts you with interest, why not be upfront and clear from the beginning, I am only entertaining guys who want to go on dates and want to be in relationships? Many will lose interest, but the ones who want to go on dates are probably the ones worth going on dates with.
Also, think about the environment you’re surrounding yourself with. If the only form of meeting people is drunk at a club, maybe you need to create other social opportunities, right? A club has loud music environment, not conducive to having conversation and getting to know someone better in order. Not saying you can’t meet a person that you end up being in a long term relationship with at a club, but maybe also supplement that with joining an adult sports league, join a workout class, join a club, join things where you can meet people with similar interests.
Again, obviously, so much we don’t control in life in terms of our circumstances.
But before you blame others for the situation you’re in, what are your actions and choices? And what’s the environment you’re surrounding yourself with?