8 Strategies for Dealing with and Moving Forward from a Trauma

Before, I get started on this topic, just want to say I’m not a licensed therapist or psychologist. Trigger warning because I will give examples of some traumas.

Everything, I’m saying here is from life experience and from friends who have gone through trauma.

1. Process your trauma/don’t deal with it alone

Obviously, every trauma (a toxic relationship, a sexual assault, a rape, a toxic breakup, being cheated on, parents divorce, etc.) is different in scope but I think a lot of people hide their traumas or don’t talk about them/process them in an appropriate manner because

a) they’re not educated on recommended ways because psychology knowledge is still not as widespread as it can be

b) the shame or guilt associated with the trauma

c) the tough nature of what’s happened and not wanting to talk about it for that reason

To anybody that’s had any of these responses, I just want to say it makes sense.

It’s not easy to dive into a terrible time in your live and talk about it. It’s easier to focus and talk about more lighthearted topics in life.

I would just say to be your best self and to minimize the trauma’s effect on your life, realize you must process what happened to you in some way. If you don’t process it, the trauma can stay and linger on with you longer.

2. Methods for processing

a. In terms of talking about it, can you see a mental health professional, like a therapist? Trauma informed therapists are trained to be able to understand these topics the best

b. Obviously, if you can’t see a therapist, if you’re able to talk to family or friends you trust, this can also be helpful. They may not be able to respond with advice, but they can listen.

c. Journaling — writing things down may also help to get the memories from brain onto paper.

3. Understand you will deal with it in your own unique way

Though we characterize groups of traumas together, like “sexual assault”, they are all different — every situation is different. How old you are, the manner, who the person was, etc.

In that way, understand your journey will be unique to you. Obviously, you can read up and listen to others who have been through a similar journey, but know your timing will happen at your own pace.

4. Can you join support groups?

Just being with others who have faced the same pain may be helpful, especially if no one in your friend group has been through a trauma similar to yours.

People in your support group will understand some of your feelings and it’s nice to have that kinship.

5. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem or identity

People often let their trauma affect how they see themselves. It’s my fault my parents got divorced or it’s my fault I got into a toxic relationship.

The actions someone did to inflict trauma on you is a reflection of them, not you.

You are not damaged goods. You are a perfectly good human being.

6. As time goes on, begin to see people independent of that

This is the hardest part, but future situations where the trauma may come up (like if you’ve been in a toxic relationship and are now dating again), try your best to view the situation independently and not bring your prior life experience into your judgment of this person.

This is extremely difficult because our life experiences make us who we are, but try your best.

7. Tell close friends about it if you can

If you feel comfortable, I would tell your close friend group so people are aware.

I have a friend of mine who had been raped before and she doesn’t like people unwarranted touching her. Her giving me that background allowed for me to be aware of that when we’re in social situations or in public to be aware of her interactions with others and see if anything triggers her.

8. Don’t forget how strong you are

I think mentally traumas are tough to speak about because we can often feel weak because of them.

Realize, the strength it takes to endure the trauma and also move forward.

Like we talked about before, traumas incurred by other people only show the other person’s character, not yours.

You are strong. You are resilient. You are amazing.