5 Strategies To Get Better at Not Caring About Someone’s Judgment
- First, realize it’s a skill.
Just like any other skills — whether it’s reading a book, running, keeping up with friends, the more repetitions you do, the better you get at it as time goes on (i.e. If you run a mile for 30 days straight, probably by like Day 10, your body will be like running a mile isn’t as hard as it was when I started on Day 1.
2. Create the right perspective
Remind yourself, we only have 1 life.
For me, at least the way I think about life, is I think about the last day.
On that last day, will I truly be good with the life I lived and will I say lived with no regrets or will I have a lot of regrets?
Obviously, I don’t want to die tomorrow. However, that being said, I can truthfully say — if for some reason I did die tomorrow — maybe I got in a car crash or something — in my last moments, I would have no regrets in the way I was living my life. I’m going to the job I want to. I’m working on Grateful Living platform on the side. I’m there for my best friends, my family and I try my best to keep in touch with people.
I would not look at the way I lived as a waste of time. I don’t know if everyone can do that. A lot people are doing things for their parents, for society. A lot of people if they died today, they would say I’ve wasted a lot of my life living in a way I regret.
To live with no regrets, you have to live on your own accord. That’s not always easy — it’s hard to sometimes do what you want when friends, family or others might have a different opinion on what you’re doing. Again, that comes down to building that skill up of really focusing on your desires and your wants, and creating the life that you want. Building that skill won’t happen overnight. It may takes months or years.
3. Realize judgment will always be there and get comfortable with that fact
Obviously, the way you conduct yourself plays a part and I would say always try to make sure to live in a manner where most people would consider you a good human being.
With that said, realize you will never control someone else’s judgment or opinion of you.
If you’re successful — people saw it coming or you got lucky. If you fail at something — again people saw it coming/predicted and they’ll gossip and laugh at you.
Remember, something out of control is not something we should worry about — because we can’t have any affect on it.
4. Remind yourself are a good person and are trying your best. Give yourself credit.
For this point, I thought of people who regretted the way they ended a family/friend/significant other relationship. People often hold a lot of baggage from intense disputes.
At the end of the day, you have to be confident in yourself to say I know I am a good human, not in a cocky way, but in the way of — I know each day I try to be my best self.
Do I fail certain days or certain situations? 100%. We’re all human. Part of being human is making mistakes.
Remember control the controllables — for the situations you feel like you didn’t have the most positive effect on, can you do something to end on better terms? If not, if there’s nothing for you to do, just move on.
5. Who’s the person judging you?
If one of my really good friends, whose spent a lot of time with me, calls me out on something — I will obviously take their opinion very seriously.
But if someone doesn’t know me well or has only had 1 interaction with me says something about me, I’m not going to hold that judgment that highly. They don’t know me that well.